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19 November 2013 @ 10:14 pm
You know when...  
You know when you have it in your head that you are like XYZ and then someone (like your sister) informs you that you are really ABC? Yeah, that's what happened to me.

Just a tiny bit of background - I have 2 sisters, one I live with, and one I don't. I'm the youngest of the three of us which brings its own complications, as you can imagine. Trust me, it doesn't matter how old you are - the youngest is always the baby.

I was having a bad couple of weeks - nothing tragic, nothing earth shattering - a bunch of minor annoyances that added up to being more than I was willing to deal with. It felt like being nibbled to death by ducks. Then came the text exchange with the sister who lives in a different state (physically and metaphorically - which really is the heart of the problem.) She said some things which both surprised and hurt me. It was kind of the last straw.

I'm trying to regain my footing and come out from under the black cloud that seemed to follow me around. I haven't written a word in months? years? IDEK.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm even posting this except to say… Hi! How are you?
 
 
 
Lizet Elainesimplyn2deep on November 20th, 2013 03:23 am (UTC)
I'm sorry. It hurts the most when it comes from family because they seem to know all the buttons to push to set you off. *hugs*

I'm doing good. A month to go and my semester will be over. Then I have to deal with the wait for grades, but I've been told I could have them as soon as the end of the day after the final is taken. I'll be the judge of that.

Getting kind of antsy for the merger of my church. Mostly because I'll be officially out of a job once I get my "severance" pay, but also because I'll have to be more active and there's a lot of people, and for 31 years I've been used to dealing with my small, less than 30 (on a good week) group of people, to being around 50-75 people on a weekly basis. A lot of the women my age are married with kids and if they're not, they still very much have the high school or "let's go clubbing every weekend" mentality. I'm too old for that shit lol

But overall, I'm okay.
J.the_physicist on November 20th, 2013 09:44 am (UTC)
Yeah, it really is hard to write when things in your life aren't right. i hope those annoyances are something that will either go away or that you can somehow get to go away. i've not written anything for ages either. -_- working on that though... asked my boss for permission to apply for jobs yesterday and meeting someone i want a job with on Monday. I will be SO happy if i can get this sorted out (but the guy might not necessarily have a job for me and even if he has, he might not want me, so yeah). anyway, that's what's going on with me right now.
--♫ Anna--: Alex and Scottrocsfan on November 20th, 2013 01:58 pm (UTC)
*hugs* It sounds like she is seeing what she wants to see, instead of what is really there. If that makes sense. Sometimes people just decide what you're going to say or do and they respond to that, instead of what actually is. If she lives in a different state metaphorically, then you have to keep that in mind when interpreting anything she says!

We love you!
kaige68kaige68 on November 21st, 2013 07:59 pm (UTC)
You, I love! Talking like Yoda, I am.

Sisters are a mixed bag at best, and I wouldn't take it too horribly. The ABC that she thinks you are is her perception, and it's skewed by her own reactions and her own views of herself. Which is the same as it is with everyone. But when my sister tells me that I'm like my mom, it's painful because I know it's not a fond memory of my mother that she's comparing me to, and it's her reaction to something my mother did that's making her think that. Not at all the same thing as when someone who didn't grow up with me tells me I'm like my mother.

Now, get out from under that cloud and write some porn. 100 words, no more no less, and it cannot grow into a longer fic later. Your prompt (should you choose to accept it) is 'daily ritual'.