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16 May 2012 @ 07:14 pm
Come Home Safe (2/5)  
Title: Come Home Safe (2/5)
Rating:  NC-17 
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Summary: AU from episode 2.22. Steve didn't find Wo Fat but he did find some truths that he needed to discover. But will Danny listen to his explanations? And can Danny trust Steve not to go off on his own again?
Warnings: none except muses on the loose
Word Count: part 2 ~2500
(link to part 1)

(link to part 3)

“Lieutenant Kelly,” Chin said as he answered his office phone.

“Chin, it’s me,” Steve’s voice said sounding distant and tired.

“Steve,” Chin said. There was an icy edge to his voice which Steve had no chance of missing. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Steve said. “I’ve tried reaching Danny. He doesn’t pick up.”

“He’s on leave,” Chin informed Steve, unwilling to volunteer any information. Steve didn’t deserve it.

“On leave,” Steve repeated. “Where?”

“I’m not at liberty to say,” Chin said in a tone he generally reserved for nosy reporters. One that had never been directed at Steve previously.

“Not at liberty to say,” Steve said, his voice rising. “He still works for 5-0 doesn’t he?”

“Not at the moment,” Chin said. “The governor extended him leave until he’s ready to return.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Steve said.

“And you leaving with just a note does?” Chin asked, the censure clear in his voice.

“This is different,” Steve tried.

“No it isn’t. You left. We didn’t know where you were. We didn’t even know if you were still alive. Do you have any idea what that did to Danny?” Chin demanded, a rare of display of anger in the question.

“What it did to Danny?” Steve repeated. “I left a note. I explained.”

“You left a note. It was not an explanation.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his forehead. He was too tired for this shit. “Where is he, Chin?”

“Have you tried his cell phone?”

“Of course. It goes to voice mail.”

“Like all his calls to you did,” Chin pointed out.

“I know. I just….” Steve stopped. What else was there to say?

“Look. I got no dog in this fight. You two have a lot to work out. You shouldn’t have left the way you did. He did what he had to do.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I was going to fly back to Oahu but maybe I’ll take a flight to Jersey instead.”

“That’s up to you,” Chin said.

“If you talk to him, please don’t tell him I’m coming to Jersey. I don’t want him to leave before I get there.”

“You can’t be sure that’s where he is,” Chin reminded him.

“If he’s not in Hawaii with Grace, he’s in Jersey with his family. His sister’s baby was due last week. It’s the only place he would go.”

Chin made a non-committal sound at that. “Did you find Joe?”

“No. This has been a wild-goose chase,” Steve admitted.

“And you’re surprised by that?”

“I thought I’d find him and the truth,” Steve said but he sounded weasely to his own ears.

“What did you find?” Chin asked in a warmer tone.

“Other truths. Ones I need to give to Danny.”

“Good,” Chin said in approval. “Do you have the Williams’ address? If you were to, you know, send them a postcard.”

“Yes I have it. Since I’m Danny’s emergency contact, he made sure I had all their information.”

“All right. Call us when you have something to report,” Chin said.

“I will. Is the Governor pissed?”

“A little. But he recognizes that you’ve been through a hell of a lot in a short amount of time. He said he’s surprised you hadn’t gone AWOL earlier.”

“That’s reassuring at least,” Steve said. “I’ll be in touch.”

“You better. You’re already in for an ass-kicking. Don’t make it double.”

“Roger that,” Steve agreed, ringing off. He contacted the airline and changed his flight to Newark. It would take 19 hours to get there, almost the amount of time it’d take to Honolulu. Maybe he could sleep on the plane. It would be the first solid sleep of more than 3 hours he would have gotten since leaving.

~o0o~

“Hey Chin,” Danny said when he had answered his phone. He was sitting in a coffee shop around the corner from his parents’ house. It was late in the afternoon on Sunday and he needed a little peace and quiet. As much as he loved his family, it was too much after being away from them for so long. He had no idea how loud they all were until he’d been out of their beehive. He wondered briefly if Steve felt that way about him but shoved that thought aside.

“Danny,” Chin said. “Steve called me a few minutes ago.”

“I see,” Danny said, goose-bumps breaking out on his skin. This was not the news he was expecting. And he didn’t quite know what he thought about it. At least Steve was alive. That was something.

“He’s flying to Jersey.” Chin paused, listening carefully. All he heard was a soft sigh from Danny’s end. “I didn’t tell him.”

“I know you didn’t. He figured it out,” Danny said. “How is he?”

“Exhausted. Frustrated. Asked me not to tell you he’s coming.”

“He’s afraid I’ll leave?” Danny asked without needing to. He knew the answer.

“He didn’t say so in those words. But he’s afraid you’ll disappear if you know he’s on his way.”

“How long is the flight?” Danny asked.

“Around 20 hours. I think I have the info if you want it.”

“He on the passenger list?” Danny asked.

“Not yet. It hasn’t been updated. But he’s in Osaka and there’s only one flight from there to Newark today. It leaves in 45 minutes.”

“All right,” Danny said. “Text it to me?”

“Sure,” Chin confirmed. “Are you going to the airport?”

“Probably. I’d rather fight there than at my parents’ house. I’ll find a hotel room. He won’t be able to be around my family, not the state he’s in.”

“Makes sense,” Chin said. “I think he’s mostly okay.”

“He still left,” Danny said, the weight of the world in those words.

“I know. What will you say when you get him alone?”

“Before or after I rip him a new one?” Danny asked.

“Right,” Chin said.

“Why are you at the office?” Danny asked.

“Malia’s at the hospital so I thought I’d come work on some overdue reports,” Chin said.

“Anything I can do from here?” Danny asked, hoping to feel less guilty about leaving Chin and Kono by themselves.

“No, brah. It’s all routine. Things have been surprisingly quiet. I think all the criminal elements are waiting for you and Steve to come back.”

“If I come back,” Danny said in a low voice.

“I understand you feel that way now. But Grace still lives here. And we need you.”

“You and Kono maybe. Steve not so much,” Danny said, rubbing his knuckles over his stubble.

“Then why is he flying to Newark instead?”

“Yeah,” Danny said. “What’s Kono up to?”

“Surfing. Ben’s in town so they are catching up. We’re having dinner tomorrow night.”

“Tell the rookie I said hello. And tell Ben if he breaks her heart, what’s left of him will have to answer to me when you get done with him.”

“Roger that,” Chin said. “I’ll let you go. Call me tomorrow.”

“I will,” Danny agreed, disconnecting. He checked his phone, not surprised to find two missed calls from Steve’s number. No voice mail to ignore though. That made it easier. He also had the text from Chin letting him know that Steve’s plane would land at Newark at noon the next day. Danny called the nicest hotel out by the airport and reserved a room for one night with the possibility of needing it for additional nights. The reservation clerk was very accommodating and didn’t display any impatience when Danny couldn’t decide whether to reserve one king sized bed or two queen. He finally decided on the two queens. That would be easier in so many ways. That done, he called his mom and told her he’d be home a little later than he had thought and they should go ahead and start without him if he wasn’t back in time for dinner. He could tell from her response that she knew something wasn’t quite right but she didn’t press him for details. Something had been not quite right since he had arrived but this was even more not right.

Danny drove his rental to one of the malls and bought two pair of jeans and three plain blue tee shirts. The clerk looked at the sizes and looked at Danny before looking again at the jeans. Danny refused to explain, simply handing over his credit card with an expression that warned questions would not be welcome. That done, he went over to the section to pick up some briefs. Steve probably hadn’t been wearing them but this way he would have the choice. And Danny wasn’t ready to take Steve’s dirty clothes to his mom’s house just yet. Maybe never.

As he was making his way out of the mall, the drugstore close by the exit caught his eye. There were definitely items he needed for Steve’s welcome home. In the first-aid section, he picked up some gauze and some butterfly bandages. No doubt Steve would need both. He added antibiotic ointment to his basket as well as the biggest bottle of ibuprofen they sold.

As casually as he could manage, he entered the ‘personal care’ aisle, astonished by the variety and quantity of condoms. He had no idea if they would be needed in his immediate future but he knew the Boy Scout motto as well as anyone else.

It had been a really long time since he’d been responsible for the purchase of condoms and didn’t know how much difference there was between ‘extended pleasure’ and ‘ribbed for her pleasure.’ That seemed a moot point. And what about the size? Good God. Jumbo? Extra large? Magnum extra large? That sounded like a comic book character. And were they all equally appropriate for use by two guys? Or were they all designed for the softer interior of women? Not precisely something you could ask the just-barely-teenaged clerk who Danny doubted had ever had sex much less knew the subtleties of buying condoms. And once he made a decision, did he need lubricant as well? Surely they would. But which one?

Sighing in defeat, he knew he had no choice but to man-up and ask for help. Glancing around the store, he was glad to see that there was no one in line to talk to the pharmacist. He was a professional and wouldn’t laugh at Danny’s questions. Right?

“Can I help you?” the older gentleman asked kindly when Danny had requested the pharmacist. His name was Archie Litton. Danny didn’t know any Littons from New Jersey so that increased his comfort level.

“Yeah. This is kind of embarrassing,” Danny said, running a hand through his hair.

“I deal in embarrassing every day, son. Spill it,” Archie said with an encouraging smile.

“I need to buy condoms,” Danny said quietly. “I don’t know which ones.”

“You aren’t planning to use them with your wife or girlfriend,” Archie said kindly.

“I’m not married. Not any more. And, no, not my girlfriend.”

“Good for you for practicing safe sex,” Archie said, leaving the pharmacy counter to walk with Danny back to the condom aisle. “These are the ones you need,” he said, selecting a discreet box that made no promises about anyone’s pleasure. “And this lubricant will not harm the condom.”

“Does size matter?” Danny asked. He hadn’t intended to make it sound like the age-old joke and was grateful when the pharmacist didn’t mock him.

“Unless you or he are extraordinarily endowed, these will be fine,” Archie assured him.

“I don’t know about him,” Danny said, considering it. “He’s six feet tall.”

“That doesn’t determine the size of his penis,” Archie said. “You can get these extra large ones if you are concerned. But 95% of all men can comfortably use these.”

Danny nodded at that, deciding Archie was undoubtedly correct. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And may I suggest you purchase a tube of Preparation H. If this is your first time with another man, you may need it.”

“Oh,” Danny said, the color rising on his cheeks. “I guess you’re right. Maybe I should buy two tubes.”

“Always the best way to go,” Archie confirmed. With a fatherly pat on Danny’s shoulder, he returned to the pharmacy counter.

As Danny was paying for the all of the items, he was not unaware of the irony of the situation. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to Steve yet he was buying supplies to have sex with him. This after he’d already bought him fresh clothes. He didn’t think he wanted to see Steve but he had reserved him a hotel room and nearly reserved a room with one bed big enough to easily accommodate them both. He still wasn’t sure the two queen beds was the right decision but he knew Steve was totally heterosexual. Just like Danny. Except Danny had discovered he was Steve-sexual and suspected Steve was Danny-sexual. God what a mess.

Danny had always held the view that sexual preferences were more fluid than static. He’d never wanted to fuck a man until he met Steve. He never wanted to be fucked by a man until Steve. Now he could barely think of anything else. For the past year, every dream that had aroused him had been about Steve. He hadn’t allowed himself to consciously use Steve to get off but it was a near thing. And more than once he’d found himself having to adjust his trousers after spending the entire day exclusively in Steve’s company. So why hadn’t they ever confronted the unspoken attraction that simmered between them?

Danny suspected it was because Steve wanted to deny that he was attracted to anyone other than women, especially women that looked like Catherine. And Danny understood that. Steve had practically grown up in the military. Not an organization known for its free thinking or embrace of ‘alternate’ lifestyles.

Danny could have broached the subject but he knew better than anyone the consequences of being in love with Steve. That way led to heartbreak. If Steve didn’t get himself killed, he was going to get Danny killed. Or Steve would be offered the chance to find the truth about his parents’ murderer and he’d go off half-cocked just like he had this time. Could Danny give all of his heart to someone who would not care for it any better than he cared for himself? Danny suspected Steve took the tough jobs because he didn’t expect to survive them. Suicide by criminal was a good option now that suicide by terrorist wasn’t as likely a possibility.

Danny had a much better developed survival instinct. But he’d always known he was loved. His parents couldn’t afford to spoil their children with material possessions but the love they gave was plentiful and constant. When Danny’s marriage dissolved, he was devastated for all the regular reasons. Even worse, he’d failed to live up to the example his parents had set. He’d failed Rachel, Grace, and his parents. But they never made him feel like a failure. They understood that sometimes love wasn’t enough and Rachel wasn’t fully prepared to be an American cop’s wife.

Could Danny’s love help shelter Steve, allow him to stop trying to get himself killed? Was Danny willing to take that risk? These were the questions he couldn’t answer. And he doubted Steve could either. Danny knew that there was a 50/50 possibility that in 24 hours, he’d be minus both a job and a best friend. He’d have to reinvent himself again, just like he had after the divorce.



 
 
 
Kathy: Danny's officekitmerlot1213 on May 17th, 2012 12:57 am (UTC)
This was lovely!

I like how well Steve knows Danny and good for him for going to Newark to talk to Danny about all of his discoveries.

And I like that Danny's trying to make things as comfortable for Steve as he can. I also like that Danny's realized that Steve might not be the safest option but he loves him, so what is he supposed to do?

Keep up the great work on this fic :)
Are 6 dogs too many?: danny and stevetkeylasunset on May 19th, 2012 02:41 am (UTC)
Thank you!! Of course Steve had to go to Newark to see Danny. How could he not? They are inseparable!

Danny does love Steve even though he knows it's going to be a hard road!

Thank you so much for the lovely comments!
lazy_8s: blueshirtslazy_8s on May 17th, 2012 02:12 am (UTC)

First, good for Chin, standing up for Danny like that. And then, Danny planning for TLC and sex, along with tearing Steve a new asshole for leaving. No wonder Steve, exhausted as he is, is going straight to NJ. 'grins'

Loved this! :)
Are 6 dogs too many?: chin ho armoredtkeylasunset on May 19th, 2012 02:43 am (UTC)
Chin loves them both. But who can blame him for being mad at Steve?

Steve has to see his Danny. He doesn't have any choice. And Danny is going to yell at him and take care of him in equal measures. That's what he does!

Thank you so much!
d_odyssey: Steve Danny Wolwiegirl13d_odyssey on May 17th, 2012 02:29 am (UTC)
Great chapter! I love Steve's initial anger then realization of the damage and hurt he had caused. Glad he is going to Danny, hopefully with the right mindset.

Loved the Danny POV. Love how he was simultaneously making a break with Steve and planning for a night of passion and buying him clothes. Good insight into Steve, ie suicide by criminal. I hope they can help each other by finally being honest and open or as close as Steve can get to that. Enjoying this, eagerly looking forward to the continuation.
Are 6 dogs too many?: cupidtkeylasunset on May 19th, 2012 02:44 am (UTC)
I worry that Steve is trying to kill himself. No one could have survived everything he's been through. Good thing it's just a TV show, huh?

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments!!! Danny just doesn't know which way to go - love Steve or save himself!

:-)
Abbeyrd: S2 alex & scott wrap up for the seasonabbeyrd62561 on May 17th, 2012 03:20 am (UTC)
I so enjoyed this chapter . I love Chin and how he was with Steve and then called Danny anyway. Steve knows Danny so well to go to Newark and remember about his sister's baby.
I think it's great about Danny even still mixed up he bought cloths, first aid stuff (he just knows Steve so well too..lol)a room. Then he talks to the Pharmacist, love that talk. I also thought how you wrote Danny thinking about how he feels about Steve and where Steve's brain is at was so well done, can't wait for more.
Are 6 dogs too many?: glad to see your backtkeylasunset on May 19th, 2012 02:46 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!! I'm always fascinated by the "everyday" things we all go through. Why would Danny know what kind of condoms or lube to buy? And he wouldn't know if he was making the right decision, planning to make love to Steve while he's still so angry. Life is messy. I think I like exploring those kind of messes!

thank you again!!
--♫ Anna--rocsfan on May 18th, 2012 10:17 pm (UTC)
Excellent! Loved Danny talking to the RPh !
Are 6 dogs too many?: grace and dannotkeylasunset on May 19th, 2012 02:47 am (UTC)
Can you just see him doing that? Well, we'd all love to see him doing it. But it won't ever happen on the show. That's why we have fanfic!!!

Thank you so much!!!
NavyVet90: Plot Puppynavyvet90 on May 27th, 2012 03:51 am (UTC)
Fascinating story! The whole pharmacy scene was adorable.
I liked how Chin was a bit chilly with Steve on the phone. Danny is so in love. In spite of his anger at Steve, he goes through all these preparations in order to take care of him. He has planned for any possibility. That's so sweet.
Are 6 dogs too many?: camo stevetkeylasunset on May 27th, 2012 02:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you are enjoying this story! I appreciate the lovely comment!