Log in

No account? Create an account
13 February 2013 @ 06:50 pm
Comedy of Errors, part 1 of 2  

Title: Comedy of Errors
Written for: 1_million_words nbsp;Holiday Happenings
It was supposed to be posted on Valentine’s Day but it’s so long, I’m posting part 1 today and the rest tomorrow.
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Steve/Danny, Chin, Kono
Summary: Steve and Danny have engaged in their mating dance long enough. Friends, acquaintances, strangers are fed up and are taking matters into their own hands, deciding their fate for them.
“In four days, Mission Put-Us-All-Out-of-Misery commences,” Chin informed Danny.
Things don’t go quite as planned but no one is really complaining. Except Danny but only as much as you would expect.
Words: 11,235 total, Part 1 of 2: 6200 words
Proofed by and blamed on   kaige68.   All remaining mistakes are solely mine!
Warnings/Notes: Some silliness. Some porn. Some liberties taken with facts on our show. (Nothing of consequence, I promise.) No warnings apply.

The main door hadn’t stopped swinging behind Steve before Kono and Chin were in Danny’s office. Steve had been summoned to the Governor’s office to explain how the latest case went FUBAR, although H50 was not to blame this time. There was a miscommunication between HPD and the FBI that had nearly gotten them all killed. Steve was none too happy about it. Danny ended up having to talk him down before he punched out Special Agent Malden right at the crime scene.

“We’ve had enough,” Kono announced when she and Chin were looming over Danny, who looked up at them in complete confusion.
“Enough? Enough what? Enough of Commander McSEAL yelling about idiotic FBI agents?” Danny asked.
“Well, yeah,” Chin said, Kono nodding in agreement. “But this is something far more important.”
“Far, far more important,” Kono said. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out an elegant cream colored envelope with the name of the most exclusive restaurant in Honolulu engraved in the upper left hand corner.
“In four days, Mission Put-Us-All-Out-of-Misery commences,” Chin informed Danny who could only stare up at the cousins.
“You two have been dancing around each other since day one,” Kono said, crossing her arms over her chest, displaying her very best ass-kicking face. “Stop it. Man up. Make the move.”
“Excuse me?” Danny said, his eyes wide, his hands quaking quietly beneath his desk.
“Don’t bother to deny it, brah. We see it. Grace sees it. Max sees it. All of Oahu sees it except the two of you. You are meant to be together. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day for you to make your move,” Chin informed him.
“Make my move?” Danny repeated. “You have decided, what, that Steve and I should hook up?”
“More like come to your senses,” Chin told him. “You two have it so bad for each other, you could set the building on fire.”
“I have no idea what this is you are saying,” Danny claimed. He was shaking his head but his eyes held the truth. He knew exactly what they were talking about – he just wasn’t sure if he was ready to admit it to himself much less to the terrifying cousins facing him.
“Don’t lie, Danny. It’s not attractive,” Kono said. “This is a gift certificate for you to take Steve to Ma Kai. It has great food. It’s very romantic. It has ambience.”
“Ambience,” Danny repeated, stunned by the force of their determination.
“We made you reservations for 8:00. Tell Steve he has to dress up. No cargoes and no tee shirts. This gift certificate should cover your meal and wine. If it doesn’t, we’ll pay the rest afterwards,” Kono said.
“What?” Danny said, shaking his head to try and stop the buzzing of others taking over his life.
“It’s not that complicated, Danny,” Chin said slowly. “You and Steve. Stop denying how you feel. Make the move. And you’ll get lucky.”
“Maybe I don’t like Steve like that,” Danny tried. His protest was met with laughter, laughter he did not appreciate.
“You want him. He wants you. Why you haven’t admitted it is beyond us all. But we’re done with waiting. Tell him you two are going out for Valentine’s Day and don’t take no for an answer,” Kono ordered.
Danny looked from her to Chin before turning his fuzzy brain toward the gift certificate. He was stunned when he opened the envelope. The amount of the certificate as sufficient to feed them all plus get most of them drunk. “This is…an obscene amount,” he finally said, awed by the extravagance of it.
“We simply used all the money we collected,” Kono said with a one shoulder shrug.
“Collected? Collected from who?” Danny asked, squinting up at them in suspicion.
“Max, Charlie, Kamekona, Duke took care of HPD, the Governor’s secretary. And Grace added the $4.24,” Chin said.
“You told all of them what your plans were?” Danny asked indignantly.
“Nope,” Kono said. “They came to us. Begged us to do something. You two have been sniping at each other even worse the past few weeks. None of us can take it any longer. So we took matters into our own hands.”
“And you decided it was my job to make Steve see reason,” Danny said, all defeat and resignation.
“You’re the only one who can,” Kono pointed out. “He’s kind of emotionally stunted, if you haven’t noticed. We can’t leave anything as important as this to him.”
“We’re watching out for your best interest,” Chin lied.
“This is only peripherally about me and my possible love life,” Danny said, shaking his head.
“Hey. Whatever gets you two to stop fighting and start fucking is all to the good,” Kono said.
“Kono Kalakaua. You did not just say that,” Danny said.
“She did. And she’s right,” Chin said, turning to leave Danny’s office. “We’re counting on you – 8:00 Thursday night. And don’t expect to be in on Friday. I’ll take care of the Governor.”
“Right,” Danny sighed. “Fine.”
“Good. Now. What are you wearing?” Kono asked, perched lightly on the edge of his desk.
“A suit?”
“Okay. No tie. Even Ma Kai doesn’t expect one. That suit you wore to the Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. Tell Steve to wear his,” Kono directed.
“And how am I supposed to ask him out on this date, exactly?” Danny asked.
“Like you’d ask anyone. Here – I’ll be him. Ask me,” Kono said, standing up straight and magically morphing into Steve’s body language. “What’s up, Danno?” she asked, lowering her voice and staring at Danny much like Steve always did, measuring, considering, weighing. It had occurred to Danny that Steve did not look at anyone else that way. That mix of expressions was reserved solely for him.
“So I was wondering, Steve. You want to go to dinner?”
“We eat together all the time, Danno. You want me to char some meat over a fire for you?” Kono asked in her Steve voice.
“Yes we do. No I don’t. I thought it’d be fun to go to a nice restaurant for a change,” Danny tried.
“A nice restaurant, huh?” Kono asked. “They serve pizza?”
“I don’t think so. Listen. We’re going out Thursday night. You need to wear a suit. I’ll pick you up at 7:30,” Danny finally said.
“Better,” Kono said with a sunny smile. “Skip to that last part. It’s language he understands.”
“Okay, okay,” Danny sighed. “Flowers? Or is that too cliché?”
“Not yet. That will come,” she promised with a wink before sashaying out of Danny’s office.
Danny made sure to hide the gift certificate because nosy Steve would see it and play 200 questions about what it was and where it had come from.
The next day, Steve left the office to go meet with HPD and the FBI about what had happened. He had been assured that Special Agent Malden would not be in attendance. Chin and Kono were back in Danny’s office before Steve’s chair was cold. Kono was holding a small picnic basket, festooned with a gigantic red bow.
“I don’t want to know what that is, do I?” Danny asked in growing terror.
“Remember that sex shop we prevented from being torched last month?” Chin said with a devilish grin.
“Yeeeeaaahhh,” Danny said.
“She wanted us to give you and your partner this as thank you,” Kono said, putting it in the center of Danny’s desk.
“Oh dear God,” Danny said, standing up. He didn’t think he was ready to face the contents of a basket from Hana Hou which he’d learned meant Come Again. Convenient double meaning for the name of a sex shop. He carefully untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, finding an array of items inside he wasn’t sure he could identify. “Okay. I’m not really ready for this,” he admitted, closing the lid.
“Here. It’s not that big a deal,” Kono told him, prying the lid up despite his resistance. She extracted the first bottle, holding it up. “Lube. Simple enough. This one is water based. Less messy but not as long lasting. This one,” she said, holding up a bottle that read Gun Oil Lube, “lasts longer but is slightly messier. Neither of them will harm these condoms.” She calmly extracted a box that held 50 condoms at the minimum. Danny could feel the color rising on his cheeks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only part of his anatomy rising at the sight of the condoms. “The rest are accessories which can add fun. Chocolate body paint, for instance,” she said, showing him the bottle.
“That’s for later,” Chin said. “You’ll want to stick to the basics at first.”
“And she included this book,” Kono said, not the least bit embarrassed to pull out a copy of The Joy of Gay Sex. “She said it is an excellent reference for men who have been only with women.”
“Oh God,” Danny said, collapsing in his chair and covering his face. “This is the most embarrassing conversation I have ever been a part of. And I had to explain to Rachel’s mother why Grace was born 7 and a half months after we were married.”
“Preemie didn’t work, huh?” Kono laughed with no sympathy at all.
“Not when she weighed nearly 8 pounds,” Danny said.
“This is nothing to be embarrassed about, brah. We want you to be ready,” Chin said warmly and without a hint of mockery.
“How do you know I don’t have an entire bedpost filled with notches for the guys I’ve slept with?” Danny asked from between his fingers.
Kono shook her head. Chin smiled. That was the only answer Danny really needed.
“Read the book, brah,” Kono advised. “It has some really good parts. You can skip chapters that aren’t relevant. But you know what they say.”
“Kill me now?” Danny replied.
“No. Knowledge is power.”
“Right,” Danny agreed. “Okay, super-cousins. Answer me this. Will I need to give it to Steve after I’ve read it?”
“Maybe you can read it together,” Chin suggested.
“He doesn’t have experience with men either?” Danny asked.
“Don’t think so,” Kono said. “Not from the recon we did.”
“Recon?” Danny asked faintly.
“You don’t want to know,” Chin confirmed.
“No. I probably don’t,” Danny admitted.
“Oh. And by the way, we reserved you a room at the Hawaiian Hilton. You can walk to it from Ma Kai. No one to bother you. Don’t have to worry about Doris or….you know,” Kono said with a wave of her hand.
“I have an apartment,” Danny pointed out.
“Nah, brah. Has to be special,” Chin told him, Kono nodding in agreement.
“Fine. The room is paid for too?” Danny asked.
“Of course. The Governor picked it up,” Kono said, laughing at Danny’s expression.
“Oh. My. God,” Danny said, wishing the floor to his office would open and swallow him whole. This conversation had passed awkward when they pulled out the sex manual, and moved directly into mortifying. “Fine. Now, please get out while I am clinging desperately to the last shreds of my dignity.”
“Did you ask him out yet?” Kono asked, ignoring his pleas for solitude.
“Not yet. I will when he drives me home. You know, in my car.”
“Good plan,” Chin agreed, dragging Kono out of Danny’s office so he could regain some of his composure.
“You and me,” Danny said after Steve had pulled the Camaro out of the parking lot.
“You and I?” Steve repeated, glancing over at him.
“Whatever,” Danny said, waving it away. “Here’s the thing.”
“The thing? What thing? What are you talking about?” Steve asked.
“We are…this is… aren’t you…”
“Nouns and verbs, Danno. Nouns and verbs are our friends,” Steve told him.
“Okay,” Danny said, taking a deep breath. “Okay. You and I. We’re…we are…..” He didn’t get any further when Steve’s phone rang. He stopped at Steve’s raised finger.
“McGarrett…right…okay… we’re on our way,” Steve said, flipping on the lights and siren.
“Where are we on our way to?” Danny asked as he made sure his seatbelt was fastened securely.
“Bank robbery in progress. It’s the one where Sabrina works,” Steve said, his face a mask of intensity.
“Oh Lord. Max know?”
“I don’t know. I was on with Duke. Call and ask if he told Max.”
“Right,” Danny said, dialing Duke. Duke assured him that he had already dispatched an officer to inform Max who would no doubt insist on being taken to the scene.
“We’ll need our TAC vests,” Steve was saying as he pulled behind the black and whites already there.
“Okay. Pop the trunk. I’ll get them,” Danny said.
“Why? I can get my own.”
“Remember the last time I asked you not to go in my trunk?” Danny asked, a firm hand in the center of Steve’s chest when they were standing beside the Camaro. “Just do me a favor and listen this once.”
“It’s not my birthday,” Steve reminded him, arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m well aware of that,” Danny said. “Just. Please. Let me get them.”
Steve frowned but finally nodded, waiting impatiently as Danny got both their vests from the trunk.
“Thank you,” Danny said as he handed Steve’s vest to him.
“I’m going to find out eventually what’s in there,” Steve warned, making sure his vest was fastened correctly.
“I don’t doubt it. But give me the luxury of letting me believe I can keep a secret from you for longer than 15 minutes,” Danny requested, pulling his gun and following Steve over to where Duke was giving directions to the officers.
“What’s the status?” Steve asked, crouching behind the police cars to confer with Duke.
“There are six of them as far as we can tell. They are holding four employees hostage. Two customers were left in the bank when they entered,” Duke reported.
“Demands?” Steve asked.
“None yet. They aren’t saying anything. Hostage negotiator is on her way,” Duke said.
“Okay,” Steve said, assessing the situation.
“What? What is with that face? I know that face. Nothing good ever comes from it.”
“Stop,” Steve said, turning to frown at Danny. “Stop with the nagging. I’m just determining the best strategic advantage.”
“Advantage for what? Getting shot? Because if you move from behind this car, that is exactly what will to happen. You are not bulletproof, Steven. We’ve discussed this previously and at length.”
“Where is the negotiator?” Steve asked Duke, effectively ignoring Danny’s familiar rant.
“Five minutes out,” Duke said, glancing over at Danny.
Danny could only shrug as Steve reached for the megaphone.
“Did you ask him out yet?” Duke asked quietly as Steve announced his presence and requested a chance to talk to the person in charge.
“I was in the middle of it when you called,” Danny said, watching Steve engage in a shouting match with one of the robbers.
“Uh huh,” Duke said, frowning at Danny.
“What? You think this is my fault?” Danny asked.
“Frustration does strange things to a man’s head,” Duke informed him.
“This is not my fault,” Danny said firmly.
“Yeah, it is,” one of the officers said from where he was crouched on the other side of Duke.
Danny sighed and frowned at them both, turning to talk to Steve when he was sitting back by him. “That worked well.”
“They are at least talking to me,” Steve said. “What were you talking to Duke about me for?”
“Because we’re going out on Thursday. To dinner,” Danny said, watching Steve yell back at the robber.
“You and Duke?” Steve asked, leaning around Danny to see Duke laughing at him.
“Sure. Or you and me. For dinner. Not that I wouldn’t rather go with Duke. He’d be better company. But his wife would probably object.”
“She would,” Duke agreed.
“So it’s you and me. Dinner. Thursday.”
“Dinner?” Steve said before shouting back at the robber.
“Yes. Dinner. Food that was not charbroiled over open flame by you,” Danny said.
“Maybe I have plans,” Steve said, yelling to the robber to give it up already.
“Plans? You have no plans. Or you didn’t until just now. You are going with me so I don’t know why you are bothering to pretend you aren’t,” Danny told him.
“I might have a date for Valentine’s Day. You can’t know for sure.”
“I do know for sure, Steven. You do not have a date. You are going to the restaurant with me,” Danny informed him.
“This is your last chance,” Steve told the robbers. “Come out or we’re coming in to get you.”
“That’s your gambit?” Danny asked. “We try to storm the bank, they kill the hostages. And Max kills you.”
“They released the hostages,” Steve told him. “Which you would have known if you hadn’t been gossiping with Duke.”
Danny looked over at Duke questioningly. Duke nodded in confirmation. “I see. Max here yet?”
“Right here, Detective,” Max said from further down the row of police cars, one arm around Sabrina’s shoulders. She looked shaken but unharmed.
“Okay. Go on,” Danny said, waving toward the bank. “I know you are dying to go Rambo on their asses.”
“Cover me,” Steve said as he took off at a run toward the bank. Shoots were fired, returned, tear gas thrown, a quick resolution in the end. Three wounded bad guys, no harm coming to the police. “So. Dinner Thursday?” Steve said as HPD cleaned up.
“Yes,” Danny sighed. “You need to dress up. I’ll pick you up at 7:30.”
“Sounds like fun,” Steve said, going with Danny back to the Camaro.
Danny tried one more time but the Camaro simply would not crank. With a resigned sigh, he pulled out his phone.
“Hey,” he said when Steve answered. “My car won’t start. I don’t know what you did to it but you have to come get me.”
“How is it my fault it won’t start?” Steve asked. Danny could hear him moving around, no doubt collecting his keys.
“You drive it all the time. You should know that it was acting up. Because it won’t start and you should have warned me.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Steve informed him. “I’ll be there in 10.”
“You’re wearing a suit, right?”
“Yes. No tie. I did listen,” Steve said.
“That’s a first,” Danny said, hanging up to Steve’s laughter. He returned to his apartment, finding a tote big enough to disguise the basket. He hoped a plain black gym bag would raise fewer questions than a picnic basket would. He already a clean tee shirt and shorts for him and Steve in his backpack which he had hoped to keep hidden in the trunk of the car. But that wasn’t to be.
It was closer to 6 minutes when Steve pulled up outside Danny’s apartment.
“What’s with the bags?” Steve asked. “Are we going camping with the Aloha Girls in our suits?”
“Sure,” Danny said, putting them both in Steve’s backseat. “Just drive.”
“That’s a great idea. Where am I driving to?” Steve asked.
“Kalia Road,” Danny said.
“Are we going to the Hawaiian Hilton Village? Because they do not require suits,” Steve said.
“No we are not. You can wait the ten minutes to find out where we are going,” Danny told him.
Steve returned what sounded suspiciously like a snort but did not otherwise argue. “What’s Grace doing tonight?”
“There’s a sweetheart dance at school. She’s wearing the pink dress I bought her for the father /daughter dance. Rachel sent me pictures. I’ll show you at the restaurant,” Danny promised.
“What are we doing with Grace this weekend?” Steve asked. That he would be included in their plans was a foregone conclusion. When had that happened? Danny couldn’t answer nor would he honestly say he minded.
“I don’t know,” Danny said. “There’s a new movie she wants to go see. Something about talking horses or fairies or who knows.”
“Is it ‘Mandy Takes on the World’?” Steve asked.
“That sounds right,” Danny agreed.
“That is not appropriate for Grace,” Steve said. “It has a lot of violence and too many graphic images.”
“It’s a Disney movie,” Danny said.
“Doesn’t matter. She doesn’t need to go see it,” Steve said.
“All right. I’ll read the reviews too. Then we can tell her no,” Danny said.
“Damn straight we’re telling her no,” Steve agreed.
“Turn left here and pull into the first parking lot,” Danny instructed. Steve did it, finding a convenient space in the lot. He automatically followed Danny down the sidewalk until they arrived at the door to the restaurant.
“I know how much you make. You can’t afford to eat here,” Steve said, a light hand on Danny’s arm.
“Not usually,” Danny agreed. “But I have a gift certificate.”
“Why?” Steve asked.
“Because people who care about me wanted me to have it,” Danny said, deciding a tiny lie wasn’t a bad thing, really.
“Wow,” Steve said. “I didn’t know you had such extravagant friends.”
“You’d be surprised at what my friends are capable of,” Danny told him, entering the restaurant when the doorman had it open. The interior was warmly lit but dim enough to convey an air of romance. It was paneled with dark wood, a highly polished wooden floor beneath their feet.
“How may I help you?” the maitre d’ asked, assessing them and deciding they were worthy, if just barley. Danny thought Steve rated higher on his worthiness chart but at least the man didn’t look ready to throw them both out.
“We have a reservation,” Danny told him.
“Name?” the maitre d’ asked, glancing from Danny to Steve to his list.
“Danny Williams,” Danny said. There was a brief pause as the man checked his list before shaking his head.
“I have no Williams,” the maitre d’ informed them.
“You do,” Danny said, pointing at the list. “I have a reservation.”
“I have no reservation for any Williams,” the maitre d’ repeated sternly.
“What about McGarrett?” Danny asked just as sternly.
“No,” he said, shaking his overly coiffed head. “No McGarrett.”
“Kalakaua?” Danny tried.
Danny frowned at him, feeling Steve stiffen next to him.
“Come on, Danno. We’ll find somewhere else,” Steve said.
“No. Hold on,” Danny said, taking out his phone. “We’re here. They do not have a reservation for us… no, none… okay.” He handed his phone to the maitre d’ who looked like he would surely catch something from it but eventually accepted it.
“Hello?...yes… yes…. yes… yes.” He hung up, looking again at the reservation list. “Yes. There was an error. Right this way.”
Danny nodded, following him between the elegant tables filled with couples being romantic, Steve right behind them.
“I trust this is suitable,” the maitre d’ said, pulling out Danny’s chair and then Steve’s. The table was away from the main, more crowded dining area with a sense of cozy intimacy and a spectacular view of the ocean.
“Very nice,” Danny agreed.
“Your server Anna will be here momentarily,” the maitre d’ assured them before leaving with more haste than absolutely necessary.
“Who did you call?” Steve asked, putting the linen napkin in his lap.
“Kono. She made the reservation. I think he may be a cousin but I’m not sure.”
“He’s clearly terrified of her,” Steve laughed.
“As anyone with sense would be,” Danny agreed.
“So what is the occasion?” Steve asked as he scouted the restaurant for possible hostiles and all available exits.
“It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m sure on your super secret SEAL calendar, it did not exist. But for the rest of us it does,” Danny told him.
“I’m well aware that it’s Valentine’s Day,” Steve said. “Why did you invite me out to dinner on what some consider the most romantic day of the year? Others, of course, consider it an excuse to eat chocolate and for Hallmark to sell more cards no one wants.”
“You done?”
“For now,” Steve said with a goofy smile that did not affect Danny’s breathing. Not one little tiny bit.
“Do you want the truth? Or the lie I’ve carefully rehearsed inside my head?” Danny asked.
“The truth is usually the best course of action. Easier to remember,” Steve decided. There was a pause in their conversation when, Anna, their waitress appeared. She smiled down at them, her pleasure at being their server not disguised at all. Danny thought she might want to have them both for dinner but he would never admit it out loud.
“May I tell you of our specials?” Anna asked, licking her bottom lip and making it glisten even more.
“Sure,” Steve replied, smiling up at her and making her breath catch in her throat. He did not even flinch when Danny kicked him beneath the table.
Anna told them of the specials, recommending the mahi-mahi, fresh from the ocean that very morning. The New York strip was also especially good if their tastes ran more toward the turf than surf. And they offered excellent wines to pair with each entrée. She would be delighted to inform them of those which were the best accompaniments.
“Thank you,” Danny said as sincerely as he could. “If we could have a few minutes, we’ll look over the menu.”
“Of course sir,” Anna said, smiling at him like he was dessert. Not that he minded but it was disrupting his concentration.
“The truth?” Steve prompted from behind the gigantic menu.
“Ah. Everyone we know said it was my responsibility to ask you out. Because we are apparently making fools of ourselves and driving them crazy at the same time. Even if we are happy sniping at each other like an old married couple without any of the benefits, the conspiracy theorists among our mutual acquaintances have determined that actually dating will alter our behavior to their benefit.”
Steve was staring wide-eyed at Danny when he finished, his Adam’s apple working overtime. “What?”
“If we have sex, we won’t drive everybody around us crazy,” Danny said much more succinctly.
“Oh,” Steve said. “Oh.”
“Oh – yeah. Good idea. Or oh – I’m going to commit multiple murders as soon as I leave here.
“Number 1,” Steve said, his confused face morphing into a happy one. “You on board with that?”
“Would I be here if I weren’t?” Danny asked. “I can’t say they are wrong, you know. I’ve heard we are as inevitable as sunshine on an Hawaiian day.”
“Yeah. Even Grace thinks so,” Danny said. “They took up a collection to buy us this gift certificate. Kono made the reservations. When we leave here, we’re going to the Hawaiian Hilton for the night.”
“They thought of everything,” Steve said in pleased approval.
“They certainly did,” Danny agreed, turning his focus to the menu. “Now. What are you having?”
“How much is the gift certificate?”” Steve asked with a warm laugh.
Danny took out of his jacket pocket and handed it to him, laughing at the expression that appeared on his face.
“Yeah. The $4.24 is courtesy of Grace,” Danny said with a familiar warm smile.
“And the hotel?”
“From an interested, concerned friend. That’s all you need to know,” Danny decided. “What do you want for dinner?”
“I haven’t decided. But I do know what I’m having for dessert,” Steve told him, watching him over the top of the menu.
“Oh yeah?” Danny said with a flirtatious smile of his own.
“Those who are now in charge of running our lives told me you haven’t had, you know, relations with a man before. Is that true?” Danny asked, hoping like hell he didn’t sound as embarrassed as he felt.
“If you mean penetrative intercourse, then no I haven’t,” Steve said smoothly.
“That’s what I meant. And if you’ve done anything at all, it’s more than I’ve done,” Danny said.
“Are you worried about that?” Steve asked. He seemed genuinely concerned and not as though he was planning to use the information later to his benefit.
“Not especially. I know what I like. I am adaptable to make it what you like,” Danny told him. He carefully avoided meeting Steve’s eyes because he thought if he did, they would have to skip directly to dessert and that would be a real shame.
“Hey, hey,” Steve said, covering Danny’s hand where it lay on the table. “We’ll figure it out. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Yeah. Me too,” Danny admitted with a warm, genuine smile. The moment was interrupted by the return of Anna who took their orders slowly and carefully, suggesting sides to pair with their meals. They decided to trust her judgment and she happily went off to put in their requests and send the wine steward over to them.
While they were waiting, Danny pulled out his phone and queued up the pictures of Gracie in her pink dress. He reached it over the table to Steve wondering why it was suddenly much warmer in the restaurant.
“Oh God,” Steve said, grabbing Danny’s arm and dousing it with a generous splash of water from his glass. “You okay?”
“Well hell,” Danny said, pulling his arm back to look at the scorch marks on his shirt cuff made by the romantic candle burning in the middle of the table. Their tiny drama had attracted the attention of several diners close by, all of whom expressed their concern for his condition. “I’m fine. It scorched my shirt but I wasn’t burned.” He pulled up his sleeve to show Steve and the concerned diners his wrist which was only slightly pink.
“I’m sorry,” Steve said, studying Danny’s wrist. His thumb gently rubbed over the spot, soothing the last of the pain away. Or maybe Danny was so distracted by the feel of Steve touching him like that, he didn’t notice the burn any longer.
“What for?” Danny asked quietly. “It was my own stupidity. You didn’t do it.” He thought he should take his hand back but in truth, he liked having Steve’s hand covering his on the table for all the world to see.
“I know. I….” Anything else Steve might have said was forestalled by the arrival of the wine steward and the maitre d’ who wanted to make certain that Danny was unharmed.
“I apologize,” Danny said, trying to hide some of his embarrassment.
“There is no reason to apologize, Detective,” the maitre d’ assured him. “You are not the first to have an unfortunate encounter with one of our candles.”
“That’s reassuring, at least,” Danny said.
“As long as you are not injured, I will leave you with Wilson.”
“I’m fine,” Danny said, the maitre d’ nodding and walking away.
Wilson told them the recommended wines to go with their selected meals, Danny and Steve leaving the choices in his knowledgeable hands.
“She is more beautiful every time I see her,” Steve said taking his hand back to look lovingly through the pictures of Grace.
“Right?” Danny said, wistfully. “I want to freeze her so she stays the same beautiful, perfect child that she is.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s neither legal nor possible,” Steve reminded him with a laugh.
“You’re probably right,” Danny sighed. “It won’t be long before she’s ready to learn to drive. Which I hasten to add, you will not be teaching her.”
“You sure?” Steve asked with a charming smile. “She’ll know how to drive on the side of cliffs without concern.”
“No,” Danny said, shaking his head. “You are not teaching her.”
“Okay,” Steve conceded, his smile never fading. “When are we picking her up?”
“After school tomorrow. We won’t be telling her what we did tonight,” Danny warned.
“Chances are she’ll know,” Steve said.
“Suspecting your father is having sex with your favorite uncle and knowing are two very different things,” Danny reminded him sternly.
“I’m her favorite uncle?” Steve asked, all wide-eyed innocence.
“Like you didn’t know,” Danny huffed, shaking his head. “You’re not nearly as cute as you think.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I am,” Steve told him, leaving Danny no choice but to laugh.
“Maybe,” Danny said, smiling despite his best intentions.
It wasn’t much longer before their dinners arrived, Wilson pouring them two huge glasses of wine after making sure they had no plans to drive.
They were both groaning from the delicious food and excellent wine, conceding that they could not possibly eat another bite. Anna reluctantly left their check, making absolutely sure there was nothing else she could do for them. Anything? Anything at all that they needed?
After many assurances that there was nothing further they needed, Steve put the gift certificate in the leather folder, handing it back to her. She nodded and slowly walked away. A few short minutes later, the maitre d’ returned, the same folder in his hand.
“There has been an unfortunate error,” he said when he stood next to their table.
“What sort of error?” Danny asked, looking up at his most displeased expression.
“We do not accept certificates for Valentine’s Day,” the maitre d’ informed them.
“Where is that written?” Danny asked much more civilly than he felt. “It was purchased for us to specifically come tonight. Purchased by Kono Kalakaua who made us the reservations.”
“She should have been informed it is not valid tonight,” the maitre d’ told them stiffly.
“That’s your error, not ours,” Danny told him. “It is not printed on the certificate. She was not informed. We were not informed. You will accept it. Why would you make tonight an exception? You already have the money. What do you care when we redeem it?”
“It is policy,” he tried.
“That’s too bad. Because we aren’t paying for this admittedly fine meal twice. Our friends already paid for it. You will be accepting the gift certificate or tomorrow your doors will remained closed,” Danny warned.
“You do not have the authority to shut us down,” the maitre d’ retorted. But Danny could see the doubt in his eyes and pressed his advantage.
“You engage in deceptive business practices. You serve alcohol to underage patrons. I’m pretty sure you employ underage bus-boys. Any of these are enough to have your license revoked. You want us to stay here another hour and find enough other violations to close you permanently?” Danny asked.
The maitre d’ straightened and stiffly turned.
“Well,” Steve said with a laugh and a look of admiration in his eyes.
“Can you believe him? ‘We don’t accept these tonight.’ That’s just bullshit,” Danny said.
“Are they really serving drinks to underage patrons?” Steve asked, glancing around the room.
“To at least two college students I could see in the mirror. There’s no way they were 21,” Danny said.
“And the bus-boys?” Steve asked.
“He isn’t shaving yet,” Danny said, nodding his head toward one of the guys discreetly clearing a neighboring table.
“No, he definitely isn’t,” Steve had to agree. He smiled up at Anna when she returned, the folder clutched tightly in her hand.
“I’m so sorry,” she said quietly. “He can be such a… well. I guess you figured that out.”
“We didn’t know you didn’t accept the certificates on Valentine’s Day,” Danny told her warmly.
“I didn’t know until he yelled at me for it,” Anna said. “I’ve worked here part time for three years. It’s the first time it’s been a rule.”
“So maybe it’s just a rule for us?” Danny guessed.
“I don’t know. I’m just sorry he was so rude to you,” she said.
“Does he object because we’re here together?” Steve guessed.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not it. I’m guessing it’s because you are Five-0? He’s not overly fond of policemen,” she said quietly. “He has several family members who are and he wanted to join the force as well. It didn’t work out but I don’t know the details.”
“That’s too bad,” Steve said. “Thank you for your excellent service tonight. We’ll call the owner tomorrow and tell him what a great job you do.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said with an adorable blush. “I’m glad you enjoyed your meal. And I hope you’ll come back, despite how he treated you.”
“Maybe we will,” Danny said with a smile that pinked her cheeks even more.
“We got change back?” Steve asked when Anna had left them.
“Uh huh. Quite a bit. Enough to over-tip Anna, tip Wilson, and pay for a night cap if I thought there was any chance we could drink one,” Danny said, showing him the amount that was left over.
“You want to leave it all for Anna?” Steve asked.
“Sure. Seems appropriate,” Danny agreed, closing the folder after writing a note on the receipt. “You ready?”
“I am,” Steve agreed, standing to follow him back through the restaurant. The eyes that followed their passage to the front door were universally admiring and envious.

to be continued...

sexycazzy: Steve/Danno handssexycazzy on February 14th, 2013 01:27 am (UTC)
That was just so awesome! Can't wait for the next part! *g*
Are 6 dogs too many?: redhearttkeylasunset on February 15th, 2013 01:38 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed part 2 as well!!

rungirl60rungirl60 on February 14th, 2013 02:56 am (UTC)
Wonderful start! I love how Danny was embarrassed, but still folded under Ohana pressure. I love how Steve rolls with it, cause it's Danny. I love how they are already so married, with a kid who they adore! Can't wait for the next part.
Are 6 dogs too many?: redhearttkeylasunset on February 15th, 2013 01:39 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!! I hope you enjoyed the second part as well!!

Steve so completely trusts Danny, he'll do pretty much whatever he wants! And Danny knows his ohana loves him. So it's all good, isn't it?

Thank you again!!!
landrewslandrews on February 14th, 2013 03:08 am (UTC)
I lol'ed at the premise- am thoroughly looking forward to the second half :-)
Are 6 dogs too many?: redhearttkeylasunset on February 15th, 2013 01:40 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!!!

I hope you enjoyed part 2 as well!!

I had fun writing it, so I'm glad it made you laugh!! That's win!

Happy Valentine's Day!
bymagajonesbymagajones on February 14th, 2013 03:51 am (UTC)
What a terrific Valentine's Day story! The perfect little detail was Grace's $4.24. I'm looking forward to the rest of it tomorrow.
Are 6 dogs too many?: redhearttkeylasunset on February 15th, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
$4.24 for the win!!!

Thank you so much!! I hope you also enjoyed part 2.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!
NavyVet90: Internet is for slashnavyvet90 on February 14th, 2013 05:58 am (UTC)
Lovin' this! Their banter is extraordinary throughout. The date would have been perfect if it weren't for the strange, rude maitre d'. Excited to see where this goes!
Are 6 dogs too many?: redhearttkeylasunset on February 15th, 2013 01:41 am (UTC)
I love writing their banter. I guess that isn't too obvious, is it? :-)

Hope you enjoyed part 2!

Thank you for the lovely comment. And Happy Valentine's Day!
kaige68: SD grinkaige68 on February 14th, 2013 10:51 am (UTC)
Love love lovelovelove!

Also I may have to appropriate the icon.

I love this so much I quacking!!!
Are 6 dogs too many?: quacktkeylasunset on February 15th, 2013 01:42 am (UTC)
Icon is yours!!! I made it for "us" if I can be so bold as saying there is an "us."

quacks me up!

Thank you, BB!! For this being your fault!