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04 March 2013 @ 04:55 pm
Fic: Rhyming Couplets, Rhesus Monkeys, Ranch dressing!  
Title: Rhyming Couplets, Rhesus Monkeys, Ranch dressing
Series: 1_million_words prompts
Rating: G
Characters: Steve/Danny, Grace, Mr. Hoppy
Summary: Here are the R prompts.
Words: exactly 500
Warnings/Notes: None. Silliness. Some misuse of language for the greater good. I would like to remind one and all that this is kaige68’s fault. ALL of it!!! So feel free to blame her!

“Well,” Danny said, his hands on his hips as he frowned down at Steve. “This is an unexpected development.”

“Steve can’t talk any other way.
What else can I really say?”

“The ointment has made it worse,” Danny agreed. “I thought alliterations were bad.”

“Rhyming couplets do strain
Steve’s very sore brain.”

“I can imagine,” Danny said. “You have an appointment with your doctor at 4:00.”

“I hate doctors.
Just like toddlers.”

“You hate toddlers?” Danny asked, confused.

“No - toddlers hate doctors.
Steve doesn’t hate toddlers.”

“I’m not even sure toddlers and doctors rhyme.”

“In my brain they do.
Why don’t they rhyme to you?”

“Fine. You’re the one infected with this weird rhyming problem. Only you, Steven.”

“How am I to blame?
I hate this dumb game!”

“I know. I’m sorry. I thought the ointment would help. Clearly it’s only made matters worse,” Danny said, studying the label. “Well. It was tested on Rhesus Monkeys. I wonder if that’s why it’s scrambled your brain. More so than usual, that is.”

“I want carrots with Ranch dressing.
Please get them with not much stressing?”

“All right. Since you are clearly…I don’t even know. You want anything besides carrots?”

“I just want the carrots.
Not crackers like parrots.”

“All right,” Danny agreed, trying not to laugh. “Carrots with Ranch coming up.”

“Laugh at me again
And you’ll learn new pain.”

“Again and pain don’t really rhyme,” Danny said as he hightailed it out of the living room.

Steve let him go. Talking in couplets was even harder than alliterations. What kind of sense did this make? And his headache was back ten-fold. Plus he hated Ranch Dressing under normal circumstances, which granted - this was nowhere close.

“My head really hurts.
Where do the pain pills lurk?”

“Upstairs,” Danny said, handing him a plate of baby carrots and an entire bowl of dressing. “I’ll run up for one.”

“Thank you, Danny,
For being my nanny.”

“You’re welcome,” Danny said, running up the steps so Steve wouldn’t see him shaking with laughter.

“I heard you laughing at me
After you left so I would not see.”

“I’m sorry. If you weren’t the one talking like that, you’d think it was funny too.”

“I’ll show you what’s funny
When the carrots are in my tummy.”

“Uhg...” Danny groaned. “That’s the worst one yet.”

“I cannot help it!
Not even a little bit!”

“I know. I shouldn’t make fun of you. And I’ll make it up to you as soon as you are up to it.”

“You will blow me?
Down on one knee?”

“Of course. Although I’ll probably be on two knees.”

“Grace isn’t scared?
She wasn’t really prepared.”

“She’s fine. She just feels bad that Mr. Hoppy did this to you. But I assured her you’d be back to some version of normal pretty soon.”

“You insult me constantly.
Is that love, honestly?”

“How can even doubt it?” Danny asked with a tender kiss as Steve ate his carrots and Ranch dressing.
kaige68kaige68 on March 4th, 2013 10:42 pm (UTC)
Again with the aww and the crack and now new and improved with Ranch dressing!!!

You're rhyming is unparalleled! I thought the alliteration was impressive, this is... beyond stellar!

*bows in awe*

Are 6 dogs too many?: quacktkeylasunset on March 6th, 2013 03:39 am (UTC)
I cannot rhyme to save my life. That's why Danny made fun of Steve for it.

You are far too kind!!! And of course I expect appreciate it!!!
smudgegirlsmudgegirl on March 4th, 2013 10:48 pm (UTC)
Oh you make me laugh.....I could never attempt to do something like this!
Are 6 dogs too many?: redhearttkeylasunset on March 6th, 2013 03:40 am (UTC)
It actually gets easier the longer I do it. But I'm glad I'm getting closer to the end. I'm not sure how much more silliness I have in me to devote to this series!!

Louheffermonkey on March 4th, 2013 11:07 pm (UTC)
This is positively the funniest series I've read in a long time - and I'm awed by your talent... I thought the alliterations were genius enough, never mind forming a story with rhyming couplets.

I NEVER want this to end. Can Mr Hoppy bite Steve every week please...sorry Steve, I know it's pain and a lot of headaches, but honestly, the grin on my face, think it's stuck there.

Are 6 dogs too many?: happy stevetkeylasunset on March 6th, 2013 03:42 am (UTC)
You are so sweet!!! "Can Mr. Hoppy bite Steve every week..." This is one of the BEST comments I've ever received!!!

The rhyming couplets were a lot harder for me than the alliterations. I'm not even sure half the words I used actually rhymed!! Dr. Seuss I ain't!!!

Thank you for the lovely, encouraging comment!!! It needs to go on my Wall of Fame -you know, if I had one!!!
bluedelft on March 5th, 2013 01:01 am (UTC)
ROTFL - this is so great!
Are 6 dogs too many?: my danno heartstkeylasunset on March 6th, 2013 03:43 am (UTC)
Thank you!!! <3<3<3