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05 March 2013 @ 08:14 pm
Fic: UFOs, Uncommunicative, Used Car Dealers  
Title: UFOs, Uncommunicative, Used Car Dealers
Series: 1_million_words prompts
Rating: G
Characters: Steve/Danny, Grace, Mr. Hoppy
Summary: Here are the U prompts.
Words: exactly 500
Warnings/Notes: None. Silliness. Some misuse of language for the greater good.


Danny was amused that the more Bourbon he consumed, the less Steve was able to keep a single thought in his head. Nothing he talked about would compromise national security. Rather, Steve seemed to need to expound on various subjects, ruminations that he had held onto for some time, like his disdain for Trebuchet MS font.

“And the fact that Kiss isn’t in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a travesty,” Steve said, a few of the words slurred. “I mean – Kiss. One of the seminal rock bands of any generation. A travesty.”

“Their exclusion is inexplicable,” Danny agreed solemnly.

“Why do people continue to believe in UFOs, Danno? It’s ridiculously ridiculous. If they existed, we would have solid concrete proof. But we don’t,” Steve informed him.

“No we don’t,” Danny confirmed. “But there are alien bunnies at Hickman.”

“Pffft …they don’t count,” Steve said. “They are still better than dealing with used car dealers. Thieves. Every one of them.”

“How would you know?”

“I know. I do know,” Steve assured him. “Why are pizza boxes square? That’s wasteful. Make them fit the pizzas and conserve resources.”

“You’re right about that,” Danny agreed, pouring him more Bourbon. “But it is easier to store square boxes.”

“Pffft…” Steve said. “You know what I wish?”

“That pizza boxes were round?” Danny asked, easily complying when Steve pulled him down on the couch next to him.

“That I had met you 10, 15 years ago,” Steve said, nuzzling the underside of Danny’s jaw. Danny thought he might be purring but he wasn’t about to express that opinion out loud.

“Ten years ago, I was married to Rachel.”

“Fifteen years,” Steve decided.

“Then we wouldn’t have Grace.”

“Oh. Huh,” Steve said, a look of concentration on his face. “Well. Okay.”

“Okay,” Danny agreed with a kiss. By the time his light kiss was complete, Steve had fallen sound asleep, managing to keep his glass level so none of the Bourbon spilled. More secret ninja skills. Danny placed the glass on the coffee table and managed to arrange them so they were stretched out on the couch with the blanket he’d brought down over them.


The sun woke Danny the next morning, Steve still asleep behind him. Danny squirmed around until he was facing Steve, waking him with a soft kiss. “How are you doing?”

Steve stared at him, opening and closing his mouth several times. But nothing came out.

“Oh no,” Danny said with a sigh. “Now you can’t talk.”

Steve pointed at him and nodded.

“All right,” Danny said, taking hold of Steve’s wrist to squint at his watch before reaching over for one of their phones. “Dr. Naeema please…Danny Williams…thank you.” He ran his fingers through Steve’s hair as he waited, a look of near panic on Steve’s face. “Hi…the Bourbon worked last night but now he’s completely uncommunicative…No, he’s awake but can’t talk….Yes, okay.” Danny hung up, kissing Steve. “We have to go to Tripler.”

Steve just nodded.

kaige68kaige68 on March 6th, 2013 01:49 am (UTC)
Ok, really, much much easier to make square pizza, just saying! *SNORT*

This is wonderful!!!!!!! THERE ARE NO WORDS!! And yes, I fully admit that my prompts were insane, that was the point!!! Or we wouldn't have so many ointments!!!

Are 6 dogs too many?: quacktkeylasunset on March 6th, 2013 03:53 am (UTC)
Why are pizzas round? Why isn't Kiss in the R&R HofF? So many questions. So few answers!!! And it's all to blame on your prompts!!!

Love you back!!!
bluedelft on March 6th, 2013 02:10 am (UTC)
Poor Steve just when it looked like everything was ok now this. Steve is never going to want to see Mr. Hoppy again.

Hehe, at the pizza boxes!
Are 6 dogs too many?: Muscles and McGootkeylasunset on March 6th, 2013 03:54 am (UTC)
Mr. Hoppy has a lot of explaining to do!!!

Tripler may have the answer. Not sure yet!!!
amarylissaamaryllisssa on March 6th, 2013 09:45 am (UTC)
I don't know how you do it! Fab story with crazy prompts: I'll miss it when its done!