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13 August 2013 @ 07:48 pm
Torrid Tuesday #8: Cheesy Pick-up Lines (Hawaii Five-0)  
Title: Torrid Tuesday #8: Cheesy Pick-up Lines
Fandom: H50
Rating: R
Characters: Steve/Danny, Chin, Kono
Words: ~1600

The Governor had agreed to pay for the entire Five-0 team to attend a law enforcement conference being held in Los Angeles. Steve told Danny he thought maybe the Governor was glad to have them out of his hair for the five days they’d be gone. Danny just shrugged at the idea, looking around to make sure he’d packed everything he needed.

The conference was one of the largest on the west coast, law enforcement personnel coming from all fifty states and several foreign countries. There were exhibits on up-coming technology, lectures on new Federal mandates, and social events intended to let the attendees unwind and get to know one another.

The second night of the conference, Danny’s turn to go to the bar for the next round came up. He made his way from the table where the others were sitting, standing in the line that was at least fifteen people deep. No one really minded, using the time to chat with those around them.

Danny happened to be standing behind two women wearing FBI jackets, one tall with blonde hair courtesy of a bottle, the second shorter and brunette. They both turned and smiled at Danny, shrugging as if to say Lines – what are you going to do.

“Are you from California?” the taller one asked casually.

“No. I live in Hawaii now,” Danny said with an easy smile.

“Well, you must be from Pearl Harbor because you're the bomb,” the shorter one said, winking at Danny.

“Thank you,” Danny laughed. “I appreciate the compliment.”

“We are sharing a room,” the taller one said. “There’s always space for one more.”

Danny could feel the heat rising over his cheeks as he shook his head. “Thanks. But I’m taken.”

“That’s too bad,” the shorter one said. “Because, damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged.”

To Danny’s relief, they had reached the front of the line and placed their order. As they were walking away, the taller one slipped her business card into the back pocket of his slacks with a saucy wink.

“Just in case,” she whispered as they walked away.

Danny bought the drinks for his team, taking them back over to the table. “Well,” he said, as he passed out the glasses. “I was just hit on by two FBI agents.”

“Ohhhh…details,” Kono requested as she sipped her drink.

Danny repeated the pick-up lines they’d used, everyone laughing at their attempt.

“Always room for one more, huh?” Steve said, leaning closer to Danny. “Why didn’t you ask them back to our room?”

“Shut up,” Danny said with a laugh.

“This afternoon, some random guy came up to me and said Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart,” Kono said, laughing.

“That’s worse than the ones they tried,” Danny said.

“I got I was so enchanted by your good looks that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes,” Chin said, all of them groaning.

“What have you gotten?” Kono asked Steve who glanced over at Danny.

“Go ahead. We know who’s going to win,” Danny said, his hand on Steve’s thigh in both encouragement and forgiveness.

“It’s not a contest,” Steve said with a shrug.

“Let’s make it one,” Kono piped up. “Whoever gets the most buys the first round tomorrow night.”

“All right,” Danny said. “That way I know I won’t have to.”

“You get flirted with plenty,” Chin told him.

“Not compared to the three of you,” Danny said. “Anyway, we’re still waiting to hear Steve’s list.”

“Let’s see,” Steve said, pretending to consider it. “At breakfast, I got If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.” That got a groan from the rest of them. “During the break between sessions, someone tired Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you. Someone else said Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.”

“At a police conference,” Chin laughed. “That’s brazen.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed.

“Oh,” Danny said. “At lunch, I got Your mama must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.”

“They’re right,” Steve told him with a smile and a wink.

“Shut up, you,” Danny said. “What else have you heard?” he asked Steve.

“Mmm… Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?” Steve said.

“Did you tell them yes?” Danny asked.

“Why would I do that?” Steve responded. “It was just a stupid pick-up line.”

“I don’t think they put men on the cover, do they?” Kono asked, winking at Danny.

“How would I know? I’m not sure I’ve ever read a copy of Vogue,” Danny said.

“What do you say we go up to our room and do our own photo shoot?” Steve suggested to Danny with a smile Danny could never refuse even if he wanted to.

“You’re on,” Danny agreed, bidding Chin and Kono a good night.

Steve and Danny went up to their suite, Steve leaning against the door when they were inside. He watched Danny putter around, removing his badge and putting his room key where he knew he could find it.

“If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” Steve asked from where he was still leaning against the door. He was smiling over at Danny who could only shake his head. “Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!”

“It’s a good thing you are attractive,” Danny said, approaching him. He smiled up at Steve, the corners of his very blue eyes crinkling in delight. “Because your pick-up lines are the worst.”

“They worked on you,” Steve said, smiling even more when Danny slipped his warm hands under Steve’s shirt to caress his hard stomach.

“Mmm…how much were they laughing the first time they called you Smooth Dog?” Danny asked, standing up on his toes to kiss Steve.

“It’s entirely unironic,” Steve claimed.

“Okay, babe. You keep telling yourself that,” Danny said, pulling Steve’s shirt up and over his head. “In the meantime, take off your pants.”

“You know what material this is?” Steve said, pulling on the waist of his cargos. “Boyfriend material.”

“Oh no you did not,” Danny said with a laugh. “If you plan to get lucky, you should stop talking.”

“I’m confident I can keep talking and still get lucky,” Steve said, stepping out of his pants and briefs. “You have on too many clothes,” Steve scolded, unbuttoning Danny’s shirt.

“I was distracted by your pathetic attempt to be suave.”

“I’m not shampoo,” Steve said, undoing Danny’s pants and letting them fall. He leaned down to kiss Danny, taking down his briefs at the same time.

“You’re not shampoo,” Danny said, shaking his head. “But you are ridiculous.”

“Maybe. Not like you mind,” Steve reminded him, carefully lowering Danny to the bed before covering the smaller body with his own.

“I most definitely don’t mind,” Danny assured him, very much enjoying the kisses Steve was carefully placing on every part of Danny’s body he could reach. “Come on. Come on.”

“You are so impatient,” Steve said when he lifted his head enough to smile at Danny. “That drawer has a bottle of lube in it.”

Danny reached over it, holding it triumphantly. “Get off so I can use it.”

Steve laughed and slid to the side, giving Danny access to his very firm, very ready erection. He groaned when Danny coated him, nearly biting through his lower lip in his effort not to come from Danny’s touch. “That’s good,” Steve groaned.

Danny smiled and kissed him before turning to lay face down, looking over his shoulder at Steve. “I thought I’d give you an unobstructed view of my heavenly buns.”

“Nice,” Steve said, kissing Danny’s perfect ass before nipping it gently. “You should be a bakery.”

“Stop,” Danny said, reaching back to pull Steve on top of him. “Show me what you got, Smooth Dog.”

“Like you don’t know,” Steve said, stretching full out over him. He rocked his hips, his erection teasing Danny as it slid against Danny’s ass and lower back.

“Put that thing where it belongs,” Danny ordered with a laugh, raising his hips off the bed.

“Bossy,” Steve said, slipping into Danny’s body. He waited until he was sure Danny had adjusted, thrusting slowly to Danny’s moans of approval.

“You don’t need pick-up lines when you are so good at this,” Danny said, lifting his hips higher to increase the amount of penetration. “We should rent you out.”

“You want me to be a rent boy?” Steve asked, kissing the freckles on Danny’s shoulders.

“Then we wouldn’t have to worry about paying for Grace to go to college,” Danny said before moaning in pleasure.

“We don’t have to worry about that, Danno. We have it covered. Anyway, stop talking about her while we’re in the act.”

“Sorry,” Danny moaned, rocking in time with Steve’s thrusts. It didn’t matter how many times they did ‘the act,’ he was caught by surprise at the amount of pleasure it produced. All other thoughts fled as the sensations reached their crescendo, sending them both over the edge. “You have to sleep on the wet spot,” Danny mumbled as his eyes slid closed.

“Gladly,” Steve said, moving off Danny and curling around him. “Am I dead? Cause this must be heaven!”

“Shut up and go to sleep,” Danny laughed, reaching over to kiss the laughter out of Steve’s mouth.
kaige68: quackkaige68 on August 14th, 2013 12:15 am (UTC)
I love you so much! There really are no words! NONE!!! It would appropriate for me to insert a cheesy line here but you've taken them all!!!

ThatWasJustaDreamthtwzjustadream on August 14th, 2013 12:47 am (UTC)
I never guessed when I saw the prompt this AM how FUN the stories would be. This is fun and silly and yummy and ...thanks!
kahuna_burgerkahuna_burger on August 14th, 2013 01:51 am (UTC)
hee hee! Cheesy lines everywhere!