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01 November 2011 @ 08:49 pm
This time, it really Is All About Me  
Maybe you've noticed that I don't normally post anything on my LJ but my stories. That's mostly because I try to avoid putting all my "stuff" out there. This time, though, I feel like there's so much "stuff," I want need to share at least some of it. Thank you in advance for indulging me. And if you don't read it, I get that. Thank you for not bashing me for my self-indulgence.

Yesterday was my last day at a job I had for almost 11 years. I chose to quit. Because it was sucking my soul out of my ears. I loved my job for 10 of those years. Then my first, addlepated boss left and I thought - great, we'll get someone who knows what they are doing to be in charge. BUT you know the saying - "better the devil you know than the one you don't." The new boss/devil turned out to be our worst nightmare.

That he disliked me and everything I did was painfully obvious from almost day one. He had his own ideas of how things should be done and I understand that. But after working there for 10 years, I had a pretty good idea of how things worked, and why. He was so certain on his own rightness, it never occurred to him that I might have some idea of what I was doing. It finally came down to the fact that I was wrong and would never, ever be right. No matter how hard I tried to adapt to his style of "management" it wasn't working. I felt like I was in an abusive relationship (yes, I have first-hand experience in what that's like) - I could try to keep our proverbial house clean enough to suit him but then I was too loud on the phone, or I spent too much time away from my desk, or worse, I don't have ESP and didn't know I was supposed to do XYZ until he officially reprimanded me for failing to do XYZ. Here's an idea - try telling me to do XYZ before officially writing me up for not doing it! Or once I finish XYZ, how about not writing me up because I didn't do it precisely the same way you would have done it, never mind the fact that you said do XYZ without telling me precisely how you wanted me to do it. Again, I'm not a mind reader.

Ultimately, I realized that I am not the person he wants in the job. So I'm not in the job any longer. The day I had to take a Xanax before I could even get dressed to go to work was the day I knew I was past the point of no return.

November 1 is my first day of freedom. I've spent most of it asleep. Decompression, I know. I don't have a new job. I'm planning to freelance. I know that it's entirely possible that 'freelance' is really Latin for 'starve,' but I'm willing to take that chance.

Leaving my job was in some ways really hard. I made a lot of good friends at my job. The best ones are ones I will keep. Still, not seeing everyone on a daily basis is going to be weird. At least I can now be myself with my friends.

No one is going to tell me that I laugh too loud or too much, that it's inappropriate to have little Mickey Mouse figurines on my desk, or that basically it doesn't matter what I do - it's wrong.

And that's my story. I'll keep you posted on how it works out, if you're interested. And I plan to have a website for my new venture. Once it's ready, I'll post a link here. Not hiding behind my pseudonym is another plus to quitting my job. Not that I'm planning to merge the two worlds - the fanfiction world and the freelancing world. But there can be some cross-pollination.

Thanks again for indulging me! I'd love to hear your story of survival!!!
scraplovescraplove on November 2nd, 2011 12:59 am (UTC)
<3 I'm sending huge hugs your way! I'm sorry and glad you left your job, for all the reasons you said.
Are 6 dogs too many?tkeylasunset on November 2nd, 2011 01:08 am (UTC)
Thank you!! I can use all the hugs I can get!!!
Umai Hoshi: OMG (KU)fairyniamh on November 2nd, 2011 01:55 am (UTC)
You couldn't read your bosses mind? Shame on you all employees must be clairvoyant! Surely you knew this?

*hugs* I wish you luck and am happy for yuo if the job was making you miserable.
J.the_physicist on November 2nd, 2011 11:15 am (UTC)
Wow, good on you! I really hope this works out for you! *hugs*

I had that happen to me in a job once, when the entire management got fired and replaced by a bunch of people who all thought they knew better than the staff. That management team tore itself apart though as they all thought they knew better than each other.

I'd get reprimanded by manager B for doing something that the manager A had told me to do and there were so many new rules that I felt like it was my first day at work every time and it was really annoying. Definitely didn't enjoy working there.

But I didn't quit that job as it was still tolerable.

One time I moved jobs. My old boss was great, but I wanted greener pastures. Lol, I got shit-fields instead.

I did quit that one. I was just at work one day and utterly miserable. Then I saw a post on a forum about someone in my exact same position asking for advice on how to quit that job ... and after reading the replies I did another google search and an hour later I phoned up my old boss and asked if I could come back to work for him. Then I resigned (and never went back to work for my old boss after all, but started a PhD instead, lol).

Best decision ever. I really wish you best of luck with this and I really hope freelance works out well! Quitting was one of the best things I've ever done ;). Staying in a job in which someone is trying to grind you down and bash you constantly is horrible.
U DON'T BELIEVE U GET SLAPPED AND RIDE IN THE BACK: st.tos_09coffeestudies on November 3rd, 2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
Your boss was an asshole. I'm glad that you made the decision to quit. I very much hope that you will enjoy your hard-won freedom and that you'll find your equilibrium again 'cause that shit sticks (in my experience even still some time after the fact).

So, go you! And the best of luck for your freelancing plans! ♥
antesqueluzantesqueluz on November 3rd, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC)
Congrats on the change! It takes courage to say "enough is enough" and move on. I admire that in you. Best of luck, dear!