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06 May 2012 @ 03:15 pm
Episode Review 2 for H50Land on DW  

Episode Review 2: Powa Maka Moana 1.17
for H50Land on DreamWidth

Thanks ever so much to rocsfan for the screen captures!! You rock it, bb!!!!

Powa Maka Moana
AKA Tongan Pirate Zombie, AKA The Episode with “Open the Door”

This episode contains those things which make me love Hawaii Five-0. It also contains some of those elements that endlessly annoy me about our Show. But the good far outweighs the bad so let’s break it down, shall we?

The episode starts with a bunch of spring-breakers partying on a sailboat.

The color of this water is just…. amazing!!! I’ve been to the Caribbean and this water may rival the turquoise of the ocean there!

The good times come to an abrupt halt when the ship/boat is attacked by pirates. Damn them for getting in the way of the partiers!!

The nice Captain knew something was wrong and told Susan to get the kids below decks.

Unfortunately, the pirates still got the kids and the nice Captain got killed.

In the meantime, Steve and Danny are taking the Marquis for a drive. Which ends up with them pushing the Marquis up a very long hill. Danny is not pleased. Steve claims it’s “temperamental” which gives us a Danny rant on how it is metal without emotions. Classic Danno!

Luckily for our heroes, a tow truck happens by. Thank goodness!!!

Danno is rescued!

In the meantime, Five-0 is called to find the kidnapped college students. They take a Coast Guard boat out to where the spring breakers’ sailboat is anchored (I guess?) They are all wearing life vests which I know is standard procedure. But the idea of Super SEAL needing a life vest makes me laugh. It’s wrong, I know. But I laughed anyway.


Steve is explaining what happened. Danno looks confused.

On board the disabled boat, they find two dead kidnappers, the (poor) dead Captain, and Susan alive, hiding in a cubby. It’s been 24 hours since the kidnappers left with the kids. Was Susan in the cubby the entire time? OMG.

Steve asks Susan what she can remember about the pirates. “They had guns,” she tells him. So naturally, he shows her all of the pictures of guns he has on his iPhone.

Who except Steve would have guns in his photo gallery? You can bet Danny has Grace but Steve has guns!

Susan’s finance shows up. In real life, he’s apparently a famous singer? And so is she? I don’t have any idea. Yeah, I am old!

They identify one of the dead pirates as a Tongan. But Max says he was dead longer than the other kidnapper. “Are we dealing with Tongan Pirate Zombies?” Oh no!

Danny and Steve decide to ask Kamekona for help with their Tongan Pirate Zombie problem. While they are waiting, Danny is stretching out his back, after pushing 2 tons of metal up a mountain. It is not ‘downward dog’ as Steve might have guessed if Danny did yoga.

Komekona interrupts their non-carugment, arriving in a giant Hefty bag. “I’m in training, brah,” he explains.

“He’s in a training bra?” Danny asks at which point Kamekona threatens him and Steve makes them go to their neutral corners.

Kamekona tells them to talk to Big Lono of Big Lono’s Pawn Shop. Which brings us to one of the fans’ favorite scenes: Open The Door. Yes, I have it bookmarked on YouTube. You do too, don’t you?

Big Lono knows his rights and is hesitant to comply with their request. Which results in Steve using a hand grenade to open the door! Yay for illegal entry!!!

Big Lono decides to tell them everything he knows about Tongan Pirates. Smart man!

Which leads them to a gang of Tongan Pirates whose hideout/house they raid.

But the students aren’t there. Oh noes. They take the head Pirate in for questioning.

He doesn’t know anything about the college students. The dead pirate is his cousin but Head Pirate guy doesn’t know why he was on the boat. He claims his innocence in the kidnapping, telling Danny to take off his watch which it turns out he took off Burt, “portly fellow, weak bladder.” They release Head Pirate guy who I really liked. I’m probably not supposed to like him as much as I do but I’d like him to come back, you know the next time they investigate Tongan Pirate Zombies!

Chin and Kono are following up a lead at a club where one of the kidnapped students used a credit card after they were kidnapped. Oops. The dude with the weird hair was skimming and tries to run. Kono hops the escalator and brings him down.

Yay Kono!! Kick ass and take names!!!

The parents of the kidnapped students have been gathered in a conference room at Hawaiian Hilton. The conference room looks exactly like every conference room that has ever existed where you sit at tables that are too small to listen to ‘experts’ go on about something it turns out they are not really experts on. Oh wait. I’m sorry. That was in real life.

Most of the parents are willing to listen to Steve and do as he asks. But not this guy:

Of course he thinks he knows better than the professionals. Kono looks like she wants to kick his ass too!

This guy ends up giving the kidnappers part of the money they demand and his son is killed. On Sand Island. Where nothing good ever happens! Stay off Sand Island!!!


Steve and Danny have to break the bad news to “I know better” guy. I know I’m supposed to feel bad that his son has been killed due to his own stupidity but mostly I want to smack him.

I seriously doubt “annoyance” was the emotion the writers were going for here.

The kidnappers have demanded a bazillion dollars and a plane. Right? Or something. You know, something kidnappers would demand. The parents bring the money to HQ to pack it in totes:

The kidnappers have told Five-0 that Susan has to deliver the ransom money. She’s the only one they are sure isn’t a copper. Susan isn’t sure she’s that brave but Steve talks her into it. (Just as a side note, he could talk me into almost anything!)

They promise Susan they will have eyes and ears on her the whole time. She drags the totes into the warehouse, where we find out Susan was in on it! Damn her!

BUT our guys knew she was in on it! Yay for the good guys!!!

Head Kidnapper tries to escape on a trolley car. Really, dude? This is your escape plan? Steve jumps through a window and kills Head Kidnapper dead.

The college students are reunited with their very happy parents while Steve looks on. Job well done!

And here’s a random picture of Chin looking especially fine (because he didn't end up in any of the pictures I chose!):

Overall I give this episode a 3.5. The story was a little convoluted and unnecessarily complicated. But it did give us “Open the Door” so that’s worth the extra .5 points!

And that's it for this version of Hot Hawaii Five-0 Guys! my review of H50!

From a little spark may burst a mighty flamedante_s_hell on May 6th, 2012 07:21 pm (UTC)
I had fun re-watching the Open the Door scene. I like to think that McGarrett turns his body so that Danny is protected somewhat from the blast.

Great review!
Are 6 dogs too many?: my danno heartstkeylasunset on May 6th, 2012 08:42 pm (UTC)
thank you!! The whole "Open the Door" is priceless. I never noticed that Steve protected Danny but you're right!

Thanks again!!
--♫ Anna--: TPZrocsfan on May 7th, 2012 04:30 am (UTC)
Excellent! Thanks for adding the pic of Chin Ho. He is an important part of Hot Hawaii Five-0 Guys. :D
Are 6 dogs too many?: Chin Hotkeylasunset on May 7th, 2012 01:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you!! And thanks again for making the screen caps for me!!

Chin Ho is vital!!!